Steps to building a positive personality

Steps to building a positive personality

Here is the few Steps to building a positive personality:

Step 1: Accept Responsibility

When people accept additional responsibility they are actually giving themselves a promotion. Responsible behavior is to accept accountability and that represents maturity. Acceptance of responsibility is a reflection of our attitude and the environment we operate in. Most people are quick to take credit for what goes right but very few would accept responsibility when things go wrong. A person who does not accept responsibility is not absolved from being responsible. Our objective is to cultivate responsible behavior.

Responsible behavior should be inculcated right from childhood. It cannot be taught without a certain degree of obedience.

Stop the Blame Game

everyone else does it, ¨ or no one does it, or ¨ it is all your fault.

People who don’t accept responsibility shift the blame to their parents, teachers, genes, God, fate, luck or the stars.

Johnny said, “Mama, Jimmy broke the window.” Mama asked, “How did he do it?”

Johnny replied, “I threw a stone at him and he ducked.”

People who use their privileges without accepting responsibility usually end up losing them.

Responsibility involves thoughtful action.

Pettiness Causes Us to Ignore Our Responsibilities

Think about it. Petty minds are busy passing the buck rather than doing what needs to be done.

Step 2: Consideration

If we all thought like the little boy, we would have a great place to live. Show consideration, courtesy, and politeness. Thoughtfulness shows a caring attitude.

Step 3: Think Win / Win

A man died and St. Peter asked him if he would like to go to heaven or hell. The man asked if he could see both before deciding.

St. Peter took him to hell first and the man saw a big hall with a long table, lots of food on it and music playing. He also saw rows of people with pale, sad faces. They looked starved and there was no laughter. And he observed one more thing. Their hands were tied to four-foot forks and knives and they were trying to get the food from the center of the table to put into their mouths. But they couldn’t.

Then, he went to see heaven. There he saw a big hall with a long table, with lots of food on the table and music playing. He noticed rows of people on both sides of the table with their hands tied to four-foot forks and knives also. But he observed there was something different here. People were laughing and were well-fed and healthy-looking. He noticed that they were feeding one another across the table. The result was happiness, prosperity, enjoyment, and gratification because they were not thinking of themselves alone; they were thinking win/win. The same is true of our lives. When we serve our customers, our families, our employers and employees, we automatically win.

Step 4: Choose Your Words Carefully

A person who says what he likes usually ends up hearing what he doesn’t like. Be tactful. Tact consists of choosing one’s words carefully and knowing how far to go. It also means knowing what to say and what to leave unsaid. Talent without tact may not always be desirable. Words reflect attitude. Words can hurt feelings and destroy relationships. More people have been hurt by an improper choice of words than by any natural disaster.

Choose what you say rather than say what you choose. That is the difference between wisdom and foolishness. Excessive talking does not mean communication. Talk less; say more.

A fool speaks without thinking; a wise man thinks before speaking.

Words spoken out of bitterness can cause irreparable damage. The way parents speak to their children in many instances shapes their children’s destiny.


A farmer slandered his neighbor. Realizing his mistake, he went to the preacher to ask for forgiveness. The preacher told him to take a bag of feathers and drop them in the center of town. The farmer did as he was told. Then the preacher asked him to go and collect the feathers and put them back in the bag. The farmer tried but couldn’t as the feathers had all blown away. When he returned with the empty bag, the preacher said, “The same thing is true about your words. You dropped them rather easily but you cannot retrieve them, so be very careful in choosing your words.”

Step 5: Don’t Criticize and Complain

When I talk of criticism I refer to negative criticism. Why should we not criticize? When a person is criticized, he becomes defensive. Does that mean we should never criticize, or can we give positive criticism? A critic is like a back-seat driver who drives the driver mad.

Step 6: Smile and Be Kind

Cheerfulness flows from goodness. A smile can be fake or genuine. The key is to have a genuine one. It takes more muscles to frown than to smile. It is easier to smile than frown. It improves face value. A simile is contagious and is an inexpensive way to improve looks. A smiling face is always welcome. Who likes to be around a grouch? No one, except maybe a bigger grouch. A warm sincere smile shows through just like an insincere one.

Step 7: Put Positive Interpretation on Other People’s Behavior

In the absence of sufficient facts, people instinctively put a negative interpretation on others’ actions or in actions. Some people suffer from “paranoia”; they think the world is out to get them. That is not true. By starting on a positive note, we have a better chance of building a pleasing personality resulting in good relationships.

For example, how often have we put through a call and not gotten a reply from the other  party for two days and the first thought that comes to our mind is, “They never cared to return my call” or “They ignored me.” That is negative. Maybe: ¨ they tried, but couldn’t get through ¨ they left the message we didn’t get ¨ they had an emergency ¨ they never got the message There could be many reasons. It is worth giving.

 Step 8: Be a Good Listener

Ask yourself these questions. How does it make you feel when you wanted somebody to listen to you and

  • They did more talking than listening?
  • They disagreed with the first thing you said.
  • They interrupted you at every step.
  • They were impatient and completed every sentence you started.
  • They were physically present but mentally absent.
  • They heard but didn’t listen. You had to repeat the same thing three times because
  • The other person wasn’t listening.
  • They came to conclusions unrelated to facts.
  • They asked questions on unrelated topics.
  • They were fidgety and distracted.
  • They were obviously not listening or